Friday, December 18, 2015

Venture Bros - The Monarch Symbol - FREE Colorwork Chart

This week I was asked to make a hat with The Monarch symbol it.

"Ok," I said. And I did.

It was excellent for breaking up the monotony of making bigfoot hat after bigfoot hat, that's for sure. And here's the chart! Feel free to use it for knitting, crochet, needlepoint, or whatever fibercraft floats your boat. If you do use it, please link back to this post to share it with the rest of the Internet!

For more, give my Facebook page a like and also swing by my Etsy shop.

For the hat, I actually duplicate stitched the pattern onto a plain black knit hat I made. I love any excuse to duplicate stitch and this was a perfect opportunity to do so. Duplicate stitch is my current favorite thing. There are tons of tutorials online. Here's a good one.

Happy crafting and holidays and holiday crafting! XOXOX

Friday, December 11, 2015

More Free Dragon Age Heraldry Colorwork Charts - Kirkwall, Legion of the Dead, Seekers of Truth

Check out last week's post for the Antivan Crows, Circle of Magi, Dalish and Inquisition heraldry colorwork charts! [Here]

This week, I give to you Kirkwall, the Legion of the Dead and the Seekers of Truth. The Seeker chart is a little discombobulated with colors. Use your brain. The sigil is solid white, the background is two-toned with a split down the middle (or solid - it looks rad in solid black or black and gray with white...embrace your aesthetic)!

I've made all of these using sc tapestry crochet, but they should be fine for other yarn and needlework. Right click > Open in new window > Save so you can enlarge them as you see fit.

Make tweaks and use them how you like. I appreciate a link back to this post though! Like my Facebook page for more and visit my Etsy to buy goodies.

Friday, December 4, 2015

Free Dragon Age Heraldry Colorwork Charts - Antivan Crows, Circle of Magi, Dalish and Inquisition

Oops, I've been hoarding colorwork charts. I made these forever ago for some crochet patches and then totally forgot about them. Dragon Age is pretty much my favorite franchise of anything ever and I have a ton of these heraldry charts because I got really over-excited about making them. I'll share more next week after I clean them up. 

I've used all of these here (Antivan Crows, Circle of Magi, Dalish and Inquisition) with sc tapestry crochet and they turned out great. They should work for other fiber and needle-y projects and they are free for you to use! Of course.

Give my Facebook page a like and link back this post if you make something rad. 

p.s. I apologize for how dark the Inquisition chart is. It's rare that I actually make charts in sort of the correct colors and I really should have used a lighter blue for better visibility of grid lines. My bad.

Here's a look at some of my crochet patches where you can see some of these charts in action:

Happy crafting, you nerds.

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Crochet CL4P-TP: A Useless Robot Made of Yarn

Everyone's favorite most hated robot on Pandora (and Elpis) is now available in an adorable 13" crochet version...made by me, not by Hyperion! And made of yarn! For cuddles?!

He's supposed to be a general purpose robot, but we all know he's a useless piece of garbage! A crochet Claptrap is just as useless, but at least he doesn't talk, so that's an improvement.

Made-to-Order Crochet Claptrap
$90 + shipping
1-2 week production time, but I will try DAMN HARD to do it in under a week, especially with the holiday season upon us...I will also do colors other than yellow!

Claptrap Crochet Pattern
Includes charts and other junk in an attempt to help you understand my brainprocess.

I do intend to have some ready-to-ship Claptraps (available for cheaper) in the shop at some point, but I don't know if it will be before the mighty gift-giving holidays that are fast approaching.

Observe! WIP pictures!

Claptrap is a nosy little shit...

Here is Claptrap on a dog.

Friday, November 27, 2015

FREE Bone-Shaped Dog Toy - Easy Crochet Pattern

NB: Crocheted dog toys are only really good for dogs that ARE NOT heavy chewers, toy-eaters or otherwise destroyers of their toys. Crochet dog toys are only good for those dogs that like to carry, snuggle or occasionally give their toys a good shake. If a crochet dog toy becomes damaged,  like any other damaged toy, you should take it away from your dog promptly. Know your dog and if this toy is appropriate for him or her. Dogs are dumb - they will eat things and get intestinal blockages and plunge you into debt with vet bills, but for some reason we still like them. :)


This is a great use of scrap yarn because dogs don't care if you give them a toy that is totally hideous. I've made two of these, both from scrap yarn, but I forgot to take pictures of the first one and I no longer have it. 

It is also important to note that as you are working on this it will look a bit vulgar and, um, phallic. 


  • worsted, aran, bulky or really whatever yarn you want (I recommend acrylic on account of it's washable) in whatever color or colors you want
  • stuffing material (I recommend polyester on account of it's washable)
  • a crochet hook of whatever size you want to use for whatever yarn you have chosen
  • stitch marker (optional)
  • Doesn't matter! A larger hook/thicker yarn will determine really have a lot of freedom with this pattern, take advantage of it. I used size F and worsted weight. I also used tight sc, but you can easily make this in sl for a more firm, less floppy bone. Stuff it more tightly or loosely as well to further customize it for your dog!
Total number of sts/round denoted by parentheses ().

What You Need To Do

  • Starting at the top of one of the "knobs" at one end of the bone, you'll be working in continuous rnds and may want to use a stitch marker to mark the beginning of your rnds - ch 4, join to form loop;
  • Rnd 1: work 7 sc into loop;
  • Rnd 2: 2 sc in each st around (14);
  • Rnd 3: inc in every 2nd st (21);
  • Rnd 4: inc in every 3rd st (28);
  • Rnd 5: inc in every 4th st (35);
  • Rnd 6-15: work even - you can actually do more or less of these work even rows depending upon the size you want your knobs to be. If you choose to do a different number make sure to note it if you want all four knobs the same (feel free to make them different sizes to create a custom crazy bone!);
  • Rnd 16: dec in every 3rd st (26 sts) - if making your bone all in one color then you want to break off your yarn here to start the second knob. If you're making your bone from scrap yarn you can feel free to just leave it attached and sit it aside then make the second knob in a new color;
Repeat the above to make your second knob now! Start stuffing whenever you are compelled to do so.

  • use sl to seam the knobs together, do this with the outside of both knobs touching and use 8 sts;
  • sc completely around the outside of the newly joined knobs (36 sts);
  • dec every 9th st (32);
  • sc around working dec that line up with where you joined the knobs (30);
  • work even until bone is desired length, use a stitch marker if you want or you can just eyeball when you get to the end;
  • inc in 15th st and last st (32);
  • inc in every 8th st (36);
  • sc in next 18 sts, ch 8 and join to 1st st to create bottom of knob (26)
  • inc in every 3rd st (35);
  • work even for 10 rnds (or however many you need to);
  • dec every 4th st (28);
  • dec every 3rd st (21);
  • dec every 2nd st (14);
  • dec every st, stff and close hole with your preferred hole closing method;
Join yarn for the final knob and repeat above.

Happy crafting! XOXOX

Friday, November 20, 2015

FREE Hunger Games Mockingjay Chart - THREE Sizes Available

Mockingjay: Part 2 releases today in the USofA so I whipped up mockingjay pin charts! I've been meaning to do these since Mockingjay: Part 1. Clearly, I failed to get around to them. Better late than never, huh?

The charts are in small (40), medium (80) and large (150). I haven't tested any of them, so tweaks might be necessary. I recommend right-clicking on the charts and opening them in a new tab to access the full-sized versions. And you can save them to your computer from there too.

Each of these charts is suitable for your preferred fiberart colorwork method (tapestry crochet, stranded knitting, duplicate stitch, whatever, whatever!) and your favorite needlecrafts as well. Utilize these charts for any project you like, but please provide a link back to this post. :)

Find me elsewhere on the Internet on Facebook, Tumblr and Etsy. Feel free to share your projects with me! I love to see other peoples' stuff!

May the odds be ever in your favor, Internet crafters! XOXOX

Small - 40x40

Medium - 80x85
Large - 150x158
 Grids created with Stitchboard, the rest created tediously in GIMP. ;-)

Friday, November 6, 2015

FREE Pattern Friday: Versatile Mustache Colorwork Chart

Having finished up the first round of Splatoon Bobble Hats, I decided to take a break to knock out some personal projects.

I'd been meaning to try out the FREE Jackyll & Hyde Balaclava pattern from the Fall 2007 issue of Knitty. My original intentions were to take the plain pattern and then make it into a Deadpool ski mask. I didn't have enough of the same red lying around, so I made it in hot pink because I had an awful lot of hot pink for no good reason.

As a connoisseur of bad movies, I watched Spring Breakers several times. If you also unfortunately saw that movie, you will recall the prevalence of hot pink ski masks. I didn't want to make a Spring Breakers' ski mask, so I needed to make mine much more classy.

And how do you make something instantly look classy?

Add a mustache.

I duplicate stitched this mustache onto the finished balaclava, but you can use it however or for whatever.

After adding a mustache to a ski mask, it's important to take selfies. 

Here are some handy links about duplicate stitch:

Happy crafting, pals! Give my Facebook page a like and stop by my Etsy shop.

Monday, November 2, 2015

Splatoon Cosplay Bobble Hats v1.0

Get yours here now! Very limited quantities. And I mean very. But don't fret! I'm going to make another batch soon. I just need to restock my materials and then I'll get started on more. Patience, pals!

My post last week was about the knit hats themselves...mostly (I think). The Fabric Gods finally smiled on me and all of my fabric arrived. I ended up settling on polyester felt. It's durable and it's easy to work with. Plus it comes in (almost) every color ever. And it's affordable, which is good for me and also good for anyone that wants to buy one of these hats without plunging into massive debt.

For the underside of the tentacles I actually used fleece. Glorious fleece! I was going to make all of the tentacles out of fleece entirely, but things went awry. It was probably for the best because using fleece would have gotten costly. I'm going to continue to use it for the white parts of the tentacles so that you can rub them on your face and have them feel like heaven as you wear one of these hats.

I love fleece, if you couldn't tell.

Anywho, tentacles! Here are some progress pictures:

I got a rando pack of craft felt sheets to do the spot details on the top sides of the tentacles. Spots and "suction cups" are attached with that glorious fabric glue that I swear by and that I love more than I love my entire family - Jones Tones Stretchable Fabric Glue. This stuff is godly and I use it for all of my crafts, not just fabric. If you keep up with my blog you are probably tired of me mentioning the wonders of this glue. You'd think I worked for Jones Tones, but I totally don't. I might be in love with this glue though.

Everything making these hats was going fine and good, but slow because I kept having to work on other assorted projects. Making the hats was a breeze after I sorted out the pattern. I got the pins from Snow Bunny Studios, my glorious button-making comrade and then making the tentacles wasn't crazy. I made templates, cut everything out and I put them together. Poof.

Things got hairy when I went to attach the tentacles to the hats. If you're a knitter you can see that I used k3p3 ribbing, which is hella stretchy. Machine-sewing stretchy things is awful. The felt and fleece tentacles were not terribly stretchy, but it proved extremely difficult to position the tentacles and get them to stay where they were meant to be. Even with a million pins trying to hold them. It was frustrating and I had to do some seam-ripping, which is terrifying on anything knit. 

I worked it out though! 

I ended up machine-sewing them on roughly into position, just for sake of durability. It would suck to be at a con and have a tentacle fall off of your bobble hat.

But then I had to go back and hand-sew each of them to make them look right. I basically did a stitch here and there to get the things in the actual right places. If you know me, you know I hate sewing, especially hand-sewing. This is strange because I don't mind seaming crochet and knit things together. It's something about tiny, pointy needles maybe. I'm totally down with yarn needles.

Scope out the finished hats. There are five colors: pink, orange, turquoise, purple and green.

I loosely stuffed the ends of each tentacle with polyester fiberfill so they would have a bit more shape and not just be floppy and flat. Ta da!

For the next batch of these hats I'm going to make more of each color, first of all. Second, I'm going to fiddle around with the brims of the hats to make them more accommodating to the tentacle attachment process. Making these hats took a toll on my thread supplies as well as my polyfill, and I need more yarn of course. Much more yarn. I will let you know, dear Internet, when the second batch is ready. My goal is for them to look the same, but for the assembly process to be easier for me. lol

Oh, and I am willing to make these in custom colors other than the main five mentioned here. If you want one in a custom color, it will be more costly, but you can feel free to contact me. These hats are quite labor intensive and there are a lot of parts, plus I'll have to match yarn and fabric, etc. etc. XOXOXOX

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

WIP Wednesday - A Splatoon Bobble Hat Update

My blog has been so neglected! I've been spending every waking hour making Phoenix Wright 'PaPa' hats (also available without the button here) and Noiz cosplay hats, which I think I mentioned in my last update...ages ago. I swear that I'll eventually get back into the habit of Free Pattern Fridays one day as well.

I tried very hard to get some Splatoon Bobble Hats ready in time for Halloween, but a series of strange events occurred with fabric being out of stock, so on and so forth. I won't bore you with my excuses because I hate listening to excuses and I'm sure you do too.

What can I do to make up for my failure to reach my own arbitrary deadline? A coupon code, of course!

And I have actually made progress on the Bobble Hats too! I made the labels for the brim and I got the buttons from Snow Bunny Studios. I have the fabric for the white side of the tentacles, so I'm just waiting on the colored fabric. The tentacles are going to be about 48" and stuffed with polyfil and super awesomeness.

You can snag one of these hats AS IS from the shop for $45 + shipping or wait on the tentacled hats next week (fingers-crossed) for $65 + shipping. Contact me with a custom order request if you're interested in a hat WITHOUT tentacles. 

Five colors are available - turquoise, green, pink, orange and purple.

Here are some pictures:

Check out these awesome buttons! I love buttons. I love making hats that require buttons. Buttons! 

Below is a nice view of the shape of the hats and placement of buttons and label. The labels are made of felt and then I drew on them by hand and machine-sewed them into place.

And here are the colors! I am willing to make these in other colors, but custom orders will be a bit more costly on account of I'll have to go get all of the materials and find fabric that matches the yarn, etc. etc.

Until next time, happy crafting! XOXOXOX

p.s. Maybe if you wish really hard I'll pull some sort of free colorwork chart from my butt for this week. ;-)

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

WIP Wednesday - Splatoon Bobble Hats

I've been horribly neglectful of my blog the last several weeks. I haven't had time for any Free Pattern Friday goodies and I'm only really working on one new project - Splatoon Bobble Hats!

[Sidebar: I keep mispelling "bobble" as "booble" so, uh, oops? I usually catch it, but I'm unpredictable!]

Hopefully, I'll have a few completed Bobble Hats in the shop next week and I'm going to add an expedited shipping upgrade option in case anyone needs one for Halloween. Completed hats will have tentacles and all of the brim accessories. I might also have tentacle-less hats as an option too because I haven't totally settled on a fabric. The first few will be fleece. I love fleece, but I don't think it's cost-effective and I live in America where the only thing that matters is money. ;)

At the moment there are two failed hats in the shop, a turquoise hat and an orange hat. Each are $15 + shipping. They're fun, pointy hats! Fine hats for, you know, keeping your head warm. $15 is hella cheap for a handmade hat, kids. The holidays are coming.

These Bobble Hats have been slow coming, not due to any particular difficulty, but because I keep having to stop to make Phoenix Wright 'Papa' hats! As soon as I get them in the shop, they sell out and it's an endless cycle. No, there are none in the shop at the moment. Yes, I'm working on one right now and I'll list it as soon as I finish. Literally. I'm here to please. They're the most time-consuming hat I make by far and I'm alternating between working on them and working on the Splatoon hats.

While I'm on the subject of Halloween and costume hats...sort of...I lowered the price of the DRAMAtical Murders Noiz hat to $35! There are a handful available and ready-to-ship right now! Button included.

And now to digress slightly, but still costume-related. I finished the write-ups on my website for my crochet Sailor Saturn cosplay as well as my BL:TPS Nisha from Dragon*Con.

Visit my Facebook for more regular updates!

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

DragonCon 2015: Photo Recap

I didn't take nearly as many pictures as I have in years past and some of these were taken by my pseudo-handler and water-carrier, cats_and_critical_hits. If you stumble on this page and see yourself, please send me a message so I can give you the wonderful credit you deserve for being awesome. I'll also include links to your page(s) or whatever if you want, just let me know! XOXOX

If you have burning questions about my crochet Sailor Saturn cosplay, check out the FAQ post.


Thursday night was pretty hoppin' so I put on Nisha to roam around and pick up my earrings from Eric (Southpaw Engraving, Jarman Props). Ran into a doge cosplay and died then we screwed around with Eric's kantus head. I forgot the earrings I was going to wear with Nisha so I decided to just use my Saturn earrings because they're so rad.


I did Nisha during the day as planned on Friday. Nisha ran into Antman. I made stupid faces and then we swapped headgear. Antman by Jareth Valentine (Ravengel Ringworks).

I also took a selfie with Felicia Day. She's cool. Meanwhile, I look ridiculous as per usual.

I got purple contacts for Saturn from CamoEyes and took a picture of myself in which I appear to have a lazy eye. I don't actually have a lazy eye...I don't think. Do I? Oh, noes. I was also giving out crochet Sailor Moon tiaras, which you can see on my own head and the head of my water-carrier in this other picture.

Sailor Saturn ran into everyone's favorite Inquisition diplomat, Josephine.


If you keep up with my incessant ramblings, you know I'm obsessed with Dragon Age. I was saddened by the lack of DA cosplays I'd run into (AKA the single Josephine), but then I met Cullen and Cassandra on the Marriott elevator on the way to the Borderlands photoshoot, which I have zero pictures from.

Then I went to the DA Developers Q&A panel, where there were DA cosplayers en masse, but I failed to take any pictures because I was so excited about everything else. I then attempted to make it to do a podcast with a dude (Rocket Props) from the BL photoshoot, but it took me 35 minutes to get from the Hilton to the Hyatt omg.

I couldn't conceivably make it to the Sailor Moon photoshoot, which was a bummer, but then I changed into Saturn and went to the aquarium to look at fishes. I entered the costume contest on a whim and did not succeed at it, but I looked at fishes. At some point I also totally blasted my ankle, but I won't bore you with a detailed tale of my pain.


I found this adorable Morrigan on Sunday (who I'd also run into in line for the DA Developers Q&A panel). I also stumbled upon a Doctor and Martha. I'd never seen a Martha before, so I got excited and by stumbled upon, I mean I was sitting and they were walking by.

Yay, DragonCon! I'm already excited for next year. Maybe I'll bring a fancy camera and spend some time taking good pictures of the numerous awesome humans I encounter.

Visit my facebook page for other assorted updates that contain fewer words than my blog posts. ;)